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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23074795">between the lines</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosemalings/pseuds/rosemalings'>rosemalings</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Pentagon (Korea Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Friends to Lovers, M/M, navigating new relationships, short form chapters, vaguely during dr. bebe promotions</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-04-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 00:22:36</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,899</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23074795</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosemalings/pseuds/rosemalings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>with shinwon and kino, it's always been the little things that count the most.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kang Hyunggu | Kino/Ko Shinwon</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>46</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. touch.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>There is a lot that remains unspoken.</p><p>Hyunggu, who is so effusive with his praise and affection, often hesitates when it comes to Shinwon. He knows he isn't as touchy, isn't as expressive, but he sees it in the little things. Like right now, when he's feeling sore and tired from hours perfecting their new number and the last thing he wants to do is get up off the floor and wash up.</p><p>"Hyunggu-yah." He can hear him scolding, stepping around his body in the room they share. "Hyunggu-yah, you'll start to make the room smell."</p><p>"Are if you care, hyung," he hits back from beneath the arms folded over his face. "I can smell your old socks from here."</p><p>"Sit up, brat," he laughs and he can picture Shinwon pulling his shoulders up and shaking his head. Hyunggu sighs and pushes himself into a sitting position. Once away from Shinwon's wicker hamper and the hoodie sandwiched beneath the top of the container, he can finally smell the chamomile tea his roommate has placed on his desk, his favorite bright green mug carefully set over a daisy-shaped coaster so as not to stain the wood. </p><p>A soft smile creeps over his features as he crawls across the room to climb into his desk chair. "Hyung..."</p><p>He gets a small shrug of those broad shoulders and doesn't press the matter further.</p><p>After putting the finishing touches on their upcoming stages, Hyunggu's come home late again after spending far too many hours at the studio, sorely filled with the same restless energy that plagues Shinwon tonight. He tries to tiptoe in, carefully and slowly closing the door behind him so not even the click would disturb his hyung. Shinwon just knows he's probably even holding his breath so he softly creaks out, as he always does, "<i>Hyunggu-yah.</i>"</p><p>He exhales and giggles, shuffling unseen in the dark, not even bothering to turn the light on so he can properly change his clothes.</p><p>"You can flip the switch, silly –"</p><p>"M'okay, hyung!"</p><p>Chipper even at – what is it? 3 AM? Shuffling under his pillow, Shinwon finds his phone. "It's three-forty-five" They both groan before bursting into a fit of whisper-giggles, Hyunggu's louder and giddier than Shinwon's.</p><p>"Hyung?"</p><p>"Mmnn."</p><p>"Can I sleep with you tonight?" the younger's voice sounds extra small, a nervous titter in his question. "I thought I could spend the whole night working but I can't even concentrate on that." He shifts his weight from foot to foot and watches Shinwon's silhouette expectantly. This comeback is important to all of them – then again, each of their releases are important, but there is something especially heavy about this one that makes his stomach clench out of worry. A sigh of relief follows as Shinwon pulls back a corner of the blanket, moving closer to the wall to welcome him into his space.</p><p>Hyunggu isn't that much shorter than he, but he feels tiny when they are toe to toe and nose to nose. His arm fits snugly around Shinwon's waist as they quietly pull each other closer, close enough to fill the nervous beating of each other's hearts.</p><p>A week or so later, and they're all genuinely having a good time filming this show, putting themselves through a very silly obstacle course. Hongseok, who the hosts had been so sure would win the game due to his manly physique, has been failing spectacularly, playing up his joke frustrations in the bouncy house and ball pit, clearly pleased to see Jinho and Shinwon emerge victorious in several rounds.</p><p>Hui somehow manages to knock Hyunggu over with a pugil stick in their joust, leaving Hyunggu sulking flat on his back though unable to mask his giggles. His hands fly up to cover his mouth and the boys dissolve into chaos again. </p><p>"Pentagon!" the female host laughs, waving her index cards around. "Hui chooses the 'punishment' for Kino now."</p><p>Their leader keeps waving his pugil stick around, cackling until one of the staff members gently takes it from him. "Ah." Hui settles somewhat, flushed, breathless, and leaning against Yuto for support. "Kino has to say something nice – No! Something cute about one of the members."</p><p>Helped onto his feet by Wooseok, Hyunggu giggles quietly this time, brushing himself off. Staff prepared him for this, talking about Jinho's height or Hongseok's smile. All acceptable answers. Glancing amongst the steady, smiling face of his groupmates, he makes a snap decision, folding his hands in front of him.</p><p>"Ah! Shinwon-hyung," he begins, looking at the camera and not looking at him, though he can feel his shoulders jerk next to his. His cheeks begin to warm before he even begins speaking and he hopes that the flush from his battle with Hui can mask his bashfulness. He gently takes his hyung's hand. "His hands are very cute, you see? His shoulders are wide –"</p><p>The hosts immediately comment on those prominent features admiringly.</p><p>"But his hands are small and it's nice to hold them and I wish he would let me do it more often."</p><p>He beams, pleased with his response which should surely please their fans as well, and finally turns to look at Shinwon's genuinely shocked, blushing face for a split second. The moment lasts for a beat too long before Hui whines, "You don't like to hold my hand! My hands are small too!"</p><p>The brief tension breaks and Shinwon finds his hand empty again as they move onto the next stage in their technicolor obstacle course.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>full disclosure, i'm working through some writer's block! i'm hoping to use this as a tool to get through it with some quickie chapters. i've been wanting to write for shinwon/kino for a while because i love their dynamic as friends ( /gestures vaguely to half of my other fics similarly). any feedback would be nice! thanks for reading.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. whisper.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>They don't talk about it for a while mostly because their schedule has kept them impossibly busy with countdown performances, preparation for future performances, and planning for the future competition. As grueling as the schedules have been, they are all in high spirits, a little anxious for the future, but feeling energized from their successes. It weighs heavily on Hyunggu's mind, worried that he had overstepped with Shinwon, whose affection is always silent but nonetheless tender.</p><p>Normally, he is open with his feelings, ever the sensitive one in so many ways, but something in him feels the need to keep inside, at least for now, at least he has a better handle on whatever this is.</p><p>Hyunggu’s in their room, reading a book and brushing up on his English when Shinwon quietly enters, his footsteps as quiet as always though it’s enough to make the younger jolt, sitting up in his bed. He’s become so skittish lately, as easily startled as his cat gets when something breaks the silence. "Hyung!"</p><p>"Hyunggu – ah." He pulls his wide shoulders up to his ears. "You cleaned? You didn’t have to. I told you I was going to do it this weekend."</p><p>"I wanted. I wanted to," he insists, waving his mini tablet. "It was bothering me anyway and I wanted to do something nice for you."  The words come out before he can help it, far less practiced than the ones he had admittedly repeated to himself a few times before their variety broadcast. Without waiting for his response, he flops back against his pillows, against the throw blanket he had wrapped around his shoulders, pulling his knees up to his chest so he can rest his tablet against his thighs.</p><p>Shinwon smiiles. His roommate has a tendency to look so much smaller than his natural height, curled up in that little ball on his bed against the window. It isn’t easy, being his roommate, with all his gaming and producing equipment strewn about, mingling with the clothes he’s purchased from thrift stores and designer boutiques alike. Hyunggu is a saint for even cleaning up for him once in a while. "Thanks," he murmurs shyly. This is the longest conversation they’ve had in weeks that didn’t have anything to do with promotions. "I’ll help you next time."</p><p>And he peeks over the top of his tablet, unable to hide a smile of his own because they both know that isn’t going to happen any time soon.</p><p>"I’m going to game for a while," he announces suddenly, swinging his desk chair around and reaching for his gamer headset. Hyunggu nods at that, reaching for his own headphones, ready to settle into that quiet and comfortable silence he has actually missed since this all began. Since <i>he</i> started this. </p><p>"Okay, hyung."</p><p>It’s a lot easier, Shinwon thinks as he settles into his chair again and boots up his desktop computer, fingers tapping restlessly over the keyboard, to pretend as if nothing has happened. Briefly, he catches his roommate’s reflection in the blanket computer screen before an image loads and his smile turns fond and soft and a little mushy. It’s cute. Hyunggu is impossibly cute when he isn’t dialing his charisma up to eleven when they’re on stage or in front of studio cameras. Even after the networks began barring fans from any television shoots for public health reasons, there was no dimming Hyunggu’s light and it made him all the more grateful to be at his side. </p><p>What was it about that filming that stayed with him? He is always so sweet, be it Hyunggu or Kino, and it’s never been a secret that they are fond of each other. Fans love to pick apart the tiny moments they have in the backgrounds of their lives, after all. </p><p>He logs into the game and wanders around the landscape aimlessly for a few moments, having already forgotten his goals for the night. Shinwon swallows hard, suddenly all too aware of his breathing and the rapid beating of his heart and the way his stomach clenches at the mere memory of his roommate, his friend, expressing how much he wants to hold his hand in front of their friends and the Korean general public.</p><p>Oof.</p><p>Clicking away, he refocuses, shaking his head a few times to get his head in the game in search of the target. They have to talk about it sometime. The reason why Pentagon has come this far is because of constant communication and care between the members and they can’t have an ounce of awkward tension especially during what feels like a truly seminal moment for them.</p><p>But by the time Shinwon has finished his games, Hyunggu has already dozed off, still cradling his tablet full of English tutorials. Chuckling to himself, he stretches his arms over his head once he’s on his feet, waiting for that satisfying crack of bones. Ah. He’ll have to schedule a visit to the sauna when this is over. The tablet now safely on the shelf, he pulls the comforter out from beneath the other’s legs to begin tucking him into bed.</p><p>"Mm, hyung," he murmurs sleepily, fingers curling around the blanket still around his shoulders. "Hyung, wait." </p><p>Oops, caught. "What is it?"</p><p>With half-open eyes, Hyunggu pulls himself closer to the edge of the bed to meet Shinwon where he knees alongside it. His fingers abandon the throw blanket to curl around his wrist instead, a sleepy, sheepish grin on his lips. "I’m sorry, hyung, if I made you uncomfortable. I just like you," he blurts out again.</p><p>There it goes, the pitter patter of his heart and the stomach somersaults. Shinwon, letting him hold his wrist, folds his arms over the edge of his bed and hides his face in the open space. "Hyunggu, don’t make this difficult."</p><p>"I know," he sighs, "I don’t like things being weird, Shinwon-hyung. We’re already outside of the comfort zone with work, I can’t have that stuff with you too and I know it’s my fault."</p><p>That makes him lift his head quickly. "Don’t blame yourself for anything," he insists quietly. From behind the curtain of his shaggy brown hair, he watches as Hyunggu slowly regains consciousness, eyes more open, cheeks all ruddy and a little puffy so late at night. He lifts his hand, tentative as ever, hovering over messy black locks until the other boy gently guides his fingers to card through his hair. "I just don’t know what to say." He never does.</p><p>Hyunggu closes his eyes and hums, understanding as always through perhaps frustrated this time around.</p><p>They sit in silence for a while, Shinwon petting his hair, daring to stroke his cheek once in a while, his knees digging into their well-loved rug. He doesn’t quite meet Hyunggu’s earnest gaze, the weight of it surprisingly comfortable yet <i>not</i> all at once. He wants to shrink beneath him, slink away until he can hide under his covers. But something in him tells him to stay, at least until the younger falls asleep again. </p><p><i>I like you too</i>.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. hiding.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>He doesn’t mean for it to be awkward. Of course, being Shinwon, it’s inevitable, but he does <i>try</i> to at least ease the unacknowledged tension in their shared room, making Hyunggu’s bed, leaving him a little box of creampuffs with his name on the tag in the fridge.</p>
<p>"How long has it been?" Hui demands quite suddenly at the end of the week, barging into the little studio Shinwon has made into his secondary home. He comes upon him, finding all six feet of Shinwon somehow crumpled up into a little ball in his computer chair, a 1975 album playing in contrast with the shooter game he has hooked up to his computer instead of working on potential songs for their next project.</p>
<p>Of course he jumps at the sound of their leader’s voice, a clear as a bell, enough to startle all six feet of him out of his chair, stumbling away and tugging the controller out of the computer. "Hyung!" he gasps, clutching his heart and genuinely meaning it. "What are you talking about?"</p>
<p>"How long has it been since you and Hyunggu talked?" he asks, loudly again as he shuts the door behind him, leaning against it dramatically. Fights happen sometimes and Pentagon is the loudest group on this floor, much to Sorn’s fond annoyance particularly when they barge into her own production room without prior warning.</p>
<p>His lips twist into a strange, indiscernible expression and he can’t seem to look at Hui as he settles back into his chair. He has a terrible poker face and they both know it.</p>
<p>The kicked puppy look is enough to get him to soften, at least, so he pulls up another chair to face Shinwon. Or rather, to pull his chair around and hold the armrests securely so the other boy doesn’t try to roll away from confrontation. "Shinwonnie…" he lets the silence briefly settle in the studio, dropping his arms so he isn’t bracketing his friend between them either. "If not for the two of you, for the members, at least." <i>Talk to me</i>. He even rests a helpful hand over the other's</p>
<p>"I." </p>
<p>Huffing, he uses his free hand to run his fingers through messy brown hair, scrubbing his palm down his face. "Only a few days? A week? I don’t know." Hui squeezes his hand tighter. "Too long." And he looks forlorn over it, the lack of laughter in their dorm, Hyunggu’s distinct and joyful titters, the lack of little touches and cuddles. It feels wrong and he knows that it’s in his power to help fix it, to let his friend and confidant know that all is well or well be well between them. Broad shoulders slump and he wiggles his hand away from Hui’s gentle grip to cover his face.</p>
<p>"You know he came to me after that broadcast? He was so worried about what he had said to you and how it would affect the way people would watch the show –" The ratings were perfectly fine and fans on all channels seem to delight in the show of affection they so rarely see between them on television. </p>
<p>Of course. Hyunggu has always worn his heart on his sleeve while Shinwon has carefully guarded his own fragile muscle. </p>
<p>"What did you say?"</p>
<p>"I said not to care about what the networks think. But I told him to talk to you. And to be careful." The last sentence carries the weight of the world. They have had their share of romantic scandals fueled by netizen ire to last a lifetime and Hui would know, even if he and Soojin had gently broken it off several months after the company lied for them. (And no one could ever forget Hyojong, but at least after the heartbreak of departure, it ended up working out for him in the long run.) But two men… it was unheard of, especially for idols.</p>
<p>Hui takes his hand again, because of course he does.</p>
<p>"Say <i>some</i>thing Shinwon-ah," he sings, trying to sound cute and make him smile again. And he does, shaking his head.</p>
<p>"I don’t want to mess things up in the longterm," he confesses quietly, an uncharacteristic gravitas in his tone. Pentagon wouldn’t care. Pentagon has always stood for marching to the beat of your own drum, even if many things have to remain in the shadows for all idols in the spotlight. Of course Hui would be accepting, of course the others would accept whatever they could become. That’s never really been the roadblock in his train of thought, though. </p>
<p>"I don’t want to ruin anything! I. I don’t want to break Hyunggu’s heart."</p>
<p>"The greatest sin, no?" the leader chuckles, rubbing his knuckles soothingly with his thumb. Despite how nice that does feel, Shinwon looks absolutely appalled. "I’m kidding! But I can’t tell you how it’s gonna end. I can just tell you what I see and hear, and – if you’re both just a little bit careful and a lot better at communicating, well. It all can’t be bad, can it?"</p>
<p>The question slowly sinks its teeth into him just as Hui releases his hand from his vice grip and opens the door. "He’s getting you a latte soon. Talk to him."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. listening.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Shinwon doesn’t have much time to react to Hui’s words of encouragement and caution. The silence that tends to follow boisterous Hui doesn’t even have a chance to settle either when Hyunggu is at his door, knocking tentatively as he pokes his head through the small crack, resting his cheek against the door jamb.</p><p>"Hyung," he greets softly, more tentative than ever, his grey hoodie pulled up over his head. There is an iced coffee in his hand, held aloft as a peace offering even if technically Hyunggu hasn’t <i>done</i> a single thing to apologize for. They haven’t done <i>anything</i> together, stagnant and unsure which direction to turn to. And Shinwon doesn’t think he’s the only one who feels lost... but he might just feel the guiltiest.</p><p>"Thank you," he greets, just as quiet, gesturing for him to close the door and have a seat, even pulling up the computer chair next to him. With a small smile that makes his round cheeks puff up, the both of them sigh in relief as Hyunggu settles in next to Shinwon, sliding his coffee over while he cradles his own cup close to his chest. He opens his mouth briefly to say something but closes it just as swiftly. And just as well – Shinwon should be the one to initiate this time.</p><p>It's surely a testament to something important that Hyunggu is still here, that he has not given up on Shinwon. And in turn, Shinwon picks up on a lot more than people expect him to. All the members are genuine and complimentary in public interviews but it's the younger boy who is profuse in his praise for his loving, teasing hyung who gives honest opinions on his mixtapes and cares for him when he's injured and unwell. Shinwon never thinks much of it, only ever concerned for his roommate, so capable yet so innocent all at once. Hyunggu gives so much of himself to the group, to their performance and music. Of course there should be someone looking out for him too.</p><p>"Hyunggu-ya," he murmurs tentatively, "I want to share some songs I just learned about." That seems like reasonable ground, something they do often either in their room or in the studio or in cars on the way to their next scheduled event. It’s then that the proverbial lightbulb goes off over his head and he perks up considerably as he takes a sip of his coffee, holding it between both hands for a moment.</p><p>Hyunggu’s smile widens and he lowers his hood, pulling his chair even closer so he can get a good listen. "I’d like that." </p><p>"I suggest you sit back and get comfortable," he states quite seriously, his voice lowering, his brow furrowing, "this is serious business, as you know."</p><p>The younger giggles as he usually does, giving him the biggest ego and serotonin boost every single time, and Shinwon can’t help but laugh with him, pulling his wide shoulders up to his ears before they both, as if on cue, straighten their backs and faces. "Being serious." And he gives him a stiff salute.</p><p>He takes a deep breath and turns to his computer again, clicking through his playlist – no … no … no …. It’s only when Shinwon releases that breath that he realizes that his heart is thudding loudly in his ears. Again, he lifts a shoulder, pressing it against one ear as if that might help lower the volume of that thudding. One song suddenly comes to mind, not quite as appropriate but a good way to start, and he clicks on "<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UQjbNrUCYA0">Swim</a>" by Fickle Friends. </p><p>Hyunggu closes his eyes, tapping his fingers against his coffee cup. It’s an American 80s sound, all neon and sparkles without sounding overprocessed. The female singer has a bright unique voice, and Shinwon instantly mimes holding a guitar, strumming invisible strings and humming along.</p><p>
  <i>Ooh, ooh, you are not alone. Ooh, ooh, for the last time, I am sure.</i>
</p><p>"People online – they compare them to The 1975, but they have their own feel and concept," he explains softly, watching as Hyunggu opens his eyes and begins humming the oohs with him. "I thought it was about worrying about – burdening a friendship, but I read up on the meaning and I was, ah, not quite correct." Of course, he’s still working on understanding the nuances of English.</p><p>"I like it. It’s very you, Rockstar Shinwon."</p><p>His thin lips curl into a tiny smile and he ducks his head, flushing whenever fans call him that and flushing a little deeper today because it’s coming from his roommate. "Thanks." Shinwon queues up the next song, "<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vA6sDKKDx9Q">Stuck</a>" by The Aces. This one is a little more on the pop-rock side with great guitar licks from an indie American band he found after clicking through Youtube late at night. It reminds him of driving through California streets and walking along the boardwalk.</p><p>"I like the singer’s raspy voice," he informs him before the song even starts, taking another long sip of his coffee. There’s a slight tremor in his fingers when he reaches for the mouse to turn up the volume. He forces himself to watch his friend react.</p><p> Hyunggu’s smile slowly fades as he catches onto the lyrics.</p><p>
  <i>Stuck, babe<br/>
Stuck with nowhere to go<br/>
I see it in your eyes, your eyes, your eyes...<br/>
We ain't satisfied.</i>
</p><p>He watches as Hyunggu swallows, licks his lips, turns his gaze away from the flickering computer screen, picking nervously at a thread on his hoodie. The other boy suddenly looks so small next to him, even pulling his legs up to sit pretzel-style on the computer chair. Shinwon immediately flies into a quiet panic with shortened breath and a heat rising from his neck to his cheeks. Hastily, he clears his throat and clicks on the next song, not wanting silence to linger between them any longer than it has already. It’s a cover, "<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MU4_9hR5Opc">Time after Time</a>" originally by Cyndi Lauper but sung by the band The Wind and the Wave. It’s a gentle, plaintive version of the song, the singer having a silvery, slightly creaky voice, accompanied only by the strumming of a guitar.</p><p>
  <i>Watching through windows, you're wondering if I'm okay<br/>
Secrets stolen from deep inside, and the drum beats out of time<br/>
If you're lost you can look and you will find me<br/>
Time after time.</i>
</p><p>He’s so focused on the desktop screen this time that he misses entirely that Hyunggu has gotten misty-eyed, the clearing of his friend’s throat sounding strained and guttural next to him. Shinwon looks at him suddenly, mouth half-open. "Hey …"</p><p>Sniffling, he dabs at his eyes with the sweater sleeves he has pulled over his hands to form little paws. "Hyung," he manages with a trembling lip, his eyes welling up with tears, the tip of his nose a bright pink. "Hyung, what’re you trying to say?" He’s pulled his knees up to his chest, pressing his cheek against one as he hugs himself tightly.</p><p>Slowly but with a bit more confidence, Shinwon reaches over to card his fingers through messy dark hair, soothing in a way he can only be with him. "I’m. Sorry," he starts to say, rubbing little circles against his temple with his thumb. "That I’m an idiot. And I don’t know how to say things. It’s just that people write things even in other languages that say it better for me." It’s the kind of writer he hopes to be, though that is neither here nor there</p><p>"That’s not true," the younger boy is quick to say, rubbing underneath one eye. "At all."</p><p>Shinwon sighs heavily and momentarily casts his gaze to the ceiling, the fluorescent lights buzzing above their heads. It’s easier to look at than the adorable, puffy face next to him. "I’m sorry that I didn’t know how to tell you that I like you too, Hyunggu."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>like shinwon, i was unsure how to approach this chapter! but music helps.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. meeting.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Hyung…"</p><p>Those few words steal the breath right out of his lungs; it was unexpected. The love they have for each other tends to go unnoticed, caring for each other behind the scenes. Universe know that he’s affectionate for Wooseok, for Yanan, jokingly skirting whenever Hui-hyung tries to take his hand. Universe know that Shinwon isn’t as physically affectionate, that he’s a mood-maker, that he enjoys making people laugh with his off-center observations and antics They know they’re roommates and they’re close, but they don’t know how supportive Shinwon really is of his producing, they don’t know they they are always the first people to listen to the other’s songs, shy in their own ways. Shinwon-hyung is blunt, never one to sugarcoat his words or blindly praise him for the sake of just making him happy. </p><p>He needs full use of his hands, setting aside his own now room temperature coffee cup and, after a moment of consideration, taking Shinwon’s cup as well to sit next to his on the computer desk. After lowering his hood, Hyunggu doesn’t hesitate grasping both hands, squeezing Shinwon’s fingers, so small compared to the rest of his body. Looking at him now, the two of them quite red in the face, it’s only then that Hyunggu can truly pinpoint the moment his warm feelings for his roommate began to take a turn. </p><p>As if on cue, he quietly asks, "Hyunggu? Since when …?" Shinwon is a tall man, broad and slender, but he has a talent of making himself look even smaller than Hyunggu does on any given day, curling in on himself when he’s getting comfortable, never one to be an imposing presence in a room. It is utterly endearing.</p><p>He opens his mouth to speak but ends up sniffling in response and Shinwon so kindly lifts their joined hands so he can wipe underneath Hyunggu's eyes to brush away from tears. "Since I hurt myself," he confesses. "since you bought me all those things to make the healing process easier and you thought I couldn’t see those heat packs or teas in my dresser." Hyunggu giggles, shaking his head. "It felt different, hyung. I tried – I tried writing it out."</p><p>That makes Shinwon jerk his chin back in surprise. "Sha La La" promotions were a whole year ago, but that doesn’t surprise him, not when Hyunggu likes to think things through, never impulsive, wanting to make sure he is putting his heart into the right things. And if there were any signs of change, it wasn’t noticeable, not when their touches were still few but significant, taking each other’s hands on occasion  Surely that variety show half-confession was a fluke. "Songs about me?"</p><p>That gets him another finger squeeze. "Not fully formed. But you’ll know when one of them’s done. I won’t tell you which one’s are about you though."</p><p>"There’s more than one?" He grins, his eyes slimming into mere crescent moons as he actually tugs Hyunggu’s chair closer. "And I have to <i>guess</i>?"</p><p>Flustered suddenly, Hyunggu gasps and dissolves into another fit of giggles, trying to squirm away without actually releasing his hands. That is the most flirtatious he has ever seen Shinwon-hyung act … <i>ever</i> and he thrills at being on the receiving end of it. "Because of that, I’ll make it even harder and won’t even tell you names." </p><p>"I never invoke hyung-rights, Hyunggu," he tells him very seriously to giggly protests, that smile unwavering as he watches the other boy struggle while twisting his chair back and forth. "But I just might." </p><p>"A threat! After my love confession!" It feels good to laugh and Hyunggu can feel some of the tension breaking, dissolving into nothingness. It isn’t right, lacking that banter, Shinwon’s teasing – he would rather they <i>not</i> pretend nothing happened, but at least they can joke around again. Days of barely speaking takes its toll and everyone already knows that how sensitive he is.</p><p>Shinwon sees it instantly, the flicker between Hyunggu’s bright, confident smile and one with tentative hope, his eyebrows lifted in interest as they regard each other once the laughter has settled. He doesn’t like skinship that much ( he took multiple online quizzes to define his love language once after Hyunggu brought the subject up during one of their late night roommate chats, and it had nothing to do with physical touch. ), but he always makes an exception for Hyunggu whenever he needs it, sometimes providing a little brush of his fingers through his hair before he even asks or initiates. His throat suddenly feels dry and he swallows around the lump that has formed there as he lifts his hand to curl around the back of the other boy’s neck, brushing his fingers through the short dark strands where the curve of his head starts.</p><p>Like a content cat, Hyunggu closes his eyes leans into it, eyes soft because he knows what Shinwon is trying to do. He’s seen it before in his roommate, when his feelings for Eunbin were muddled and the two of them carefully tested the waters of intimacy while they were preparing for the company concert, the occasional tucking of her hair behind her ears and all, before deciding they were much better off as friends. But that was in the past. He wants to commit this present to memory – the faint smell of coffee, the indie music playing in the background, how soft Shinwon looks in that vintage flannel shirt. He is romantic and wordy, dreaming of Parisian streets and string instruments playing in the distance, but he couldn’t ask for more when it comes to this. The studio isn’t the most idyllic of places with his fluorescent lights combined with the blue glow of the screen on their faces, but it’s somehow perfect, a place for creativity where each of them has spent many nights toiling over music, laughing on live chats with fans. Other than their shared room, this is where they comfort each other, critique each other’s music, enjoy being with each other for the sake of just <i>being</i>. He licks his lips. "Hyung, can I kiss you?"</p><p>"Yeah – yes. Yes."</p><p>There’s no more hesitation between them and Hyunngu is relieved as he stands up and closes the space between their chairs to nudge Shinwon’s knees apart just a little so he can stand close to him, nudging the wheel stopper into the locked position to keep him from rolling away in his chair. His eyes are red and his face is puffy but he’s confident as he cups his friend’s cheeks and gently guides him to tip his head backward. It’s kind of funny. He sees Shinwon every single day but he doesn’t think he’s ever been as beautiful as he is right now, bathed in white-blue computer light with his thin but pretty lips slightly parted, his expression open, black hair still falling in his eyes. Hyunggu nudges the hair away from his forehead with the tips of his fingers, so gentle because he wants to do this right.</p><p>What’s more surprising is his Shinwon’s hands tentatively rest on the dip of his waist somewhere through the heavy fabric of his hoodie. They both exhale into soft titters and their first kiss is surrounded by laughter, exactly as it should be. Hyunggu’s lips are a little salty from those emotional tears and Shinwon’s taste like coffee but it’s perfect in its lingering warmth. Perhaps later Huynggu can put those lofty words to paper about celestial bodies orbiting each other, about blooming flowers in a garden. But this kiss is real, with lips tentatively moving against each other, little smacking noises filling the air. Sensitive, he makes a quiet noise when Shinwon’s fingers thread through those short hairs on the back of his head again.</p><p>As he leans into it, the chair rolls back a few inches, causing Shinwon’s hands to slam back against the armrests in shock, throwing his head back against the backrest. More laughter. He has the sense to at least look sheepish about it when Hyunggu chortles and clutches his stomach. "Go – good?" he asks, pressing his lips together. <i>Good? Is this worth it to you? Am I worth all this trouble? All this risk?</i></p><p>He settles back in his own chair and tugs Shinwon’s back into his space, leaning up to kiss his nose. It is impossibly sweet. "Good." <i>You are worth everything</i>.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>if you have a moment, i'd appreciate hearing from you! comments really do help fuel the work. thanks for stopping by.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. together.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>( And, truth be told, neither of them is a very good liar especially when it comes to the others. )</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>at some point, you just need to tell yourself, "stop sitting on the chapter" so here it is, lol.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Hyunggu has a boyfriend. </p>
<p>Well, after some serious label negotiations that mostly involved Shinwon laughing at him for being so serious about it. ( 'Who else am I seeing, Hyunggu-ya?' ) He was loath to admit that he was right considering that they pretty much spent every waking and sleeping hour together. The end of promotions seemed to be a good time for them to make the announcement with slightly fewer burdens on their collective shoulders. ( And, truth be told, neither of them a very good liar especially when it comes to the others. ) They were lucky that the members didn't seem to bat an eye at the announcement over Hongseok's barbecue, except for perhaps Changgu, an even more helpless romantic than Hyunggu is, and his delighted disbelief several beers into the evening, whispering loudly to whoever would listen about how happy he was for them and how much he missed Yanan. Jinho and Wooseok smirked knowingly and Shinwon's ears were red for the rest of the night and Hui loudly proclaimed he already made them promise not to let things get in the way of the group, but they very much had his blessing and he should receive some credit for making this happen. </p>
<p>He trusts them, after all, and he trusts Shinwon the most to remain mature and sensible about it all.  </p>
<p>"I wrung my hands over nothing," Hyunggu sighs that night once they have cleaned up the dorm and helped Hongseok with the dishes. Even so, he feels significantly lighter as he happily crawls into Shinwon's bed once he's changed into a purple tie-dyed shirt and a pair of shorts for sleep. The transition into coupledom hadn't been as drastic as he had anticipated either, their dynamic remaining close to their usual with benefits like more touching, and kissing, and sleeping in his bed without asking and without any reason. Just because.  </p>
<p>Shinwon chuckles because he can <i>hear</i> the pout on Hyunggu’s face, as he closes the door behind him, a towel hanging around his neck. In some ways, he isn’t surprised by any of the developments in their fledgling relationship while at the same time, he has learned new things about his roommate. Hyunggu is a relationship guy, always thoughtful and bringing him even more gifts and snacks, anticipating his needs, wanting to wear Shinwon’s clothes beyond the usual treasured hand-me-downs. He suspects fans have noticed them sharing more clothes than usual but that shouldn’t be out of the blue considering the living situation. "Changgu could make a career reacting to things on YouTube," he observes, running his hands through his shaggy black hair. "He's so funny sometimes." He pauses, pressing his lips together. "Let's not tell him that, though – Hyunggu?" </p>
<p>Quiet, his throat has gone dry watching his hyung, shirtless with low-slung pajama pants, pat his hair dry with a towel. Everything up until this point had been more or less PG-13, almost innocent considering their mutual desire to take things slow, to be as careful as they both can be because of their work and their lives in front of cameras. It’s why Hyunggu has allowed himself this moment to openly stare at him, take in every inch of pale, bare skin still warm from the shower. Shinwon’s hair is getting so long now, almost to the point where he knows his hyung will want to chop it all off again. Maybe he can convince him to keep it a little longer …</p>
<p> "I wanna kiss you," he murmurs finally, holding his hand out to pull him closer. "You look so good, hyung."</p>
<p>Shinwon has gone most of his life never quite knowing how to handle a compliment like that. His ears go red and he pulls his shoulders up to his cheeks. Sure, he is his own number one fan and sure, while he was a trainee, he even had crowds of girls waiting at the EXO store trying to get a peek of the mysterious handsome barista, but when it comes from someone else, when it comes from someone he loves and respects – he just flushes, taking Hyunggu’s hand and letting him use that to tug him right into bed. They are a tangle of limbs and he does all that on purpose, rolling around over the sheets to break some of that tension, blowing raspberries on Hyunggu’s neck to get him to giggle again. But Hyunggu doesn’t let him this time, even through he laughs as they roll the sheets away and he can trap the taller boy between his bare legs. The brush of his legs against Shinwon’s bare torso is just enough to shock his system since this is the most skin-to-skin contact they have had since they first went down this road. They have nowhere to be tomorrow, thankful for the reprieve between schedules.</p>
<p>The pajama pants don’t stay on for long, though Hyunggu is more concerned with exploring the broad expanse of Shinwon’s chest with his lips and hands. He is a man possessed, having always been aware of his prettiest features but never allowing himself to think too deeply on it. But <i>now</i>, now that he has all that skin beneath his fingertips, he is determined to show him how much he appreciates him. </p>
<p>Shinwon is breathless, a little shy as he flushes beneath Hyunggu’s sultry gaze, a different one than the expression fans see on their television screens. There is so much heat behind it, though he never gets to stare into his eyes for very long, far too occupied with kissing, savoring the taste of strawberry chapstick against his mouth. He is helpless to him as always. </p>
<p>"Lay back, hyung. Please," Hyunggu whispers, and Shinwon just about expires on the spot as he watches his boyfriend disappear beneath the tangled comforter. His skin is still warm and smooth, and Hyunggu’s pretty pink lips lips are plush and ever so soft. ( And, to Shinwon’s surprise, he knows how to use them <i>well</i>. ) He is quieter than the younger boy expected, the two of them communicating in soft groans and sighs, using words sparingly.</p>
<p>In the glow of the late evening, the room illuminated by the starry lamp that Hyunggu insisted on buying online, they are one, the smaller boy nestled against that gloriously broad chest with a content smile on his face. Shinwon, in turn, looks like the cat that ate the canary, grinning like the happy idiot that he is as he lets his hand trace lazy little circles along Hyunggu’s back as he watches the light dance across their ceiling.</p>
<p>It feels real now. Not that their relationship ever felt fake, but he doesn’t think he has ever felt this vulnerable with anyone, so completely bare in more ways than one. It scares him, the weight of the situation, of Hyunggu’s unwavering feelings for him, the thought wiping the smile off his face for a moment. They are both terrible liars but he can’t quite put to words what he feels in this moment. So he sits on it for now, chuckling softly when this boy of his nestles his face in the crook of his neck like a tired kitten in search of warmth.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>if you enjoyed this story so far, please consider leaving a comment or a kudos. those truly help with motivation and i love hearing from people.</p>
<p>if you'd like to follow me, i can be found at my <a href="https://twitter.com/therosemalings">fic twitter</a>, mostly sharing snippets, inspiration, and footnotes.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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